I’d like to say I’m fine, but I’m not. I’m in a lot of pain and it was all a massive shock. I ended up in A&E yesterday evening having a CT scan as the pain had ramped up and I couldn’t breathe properly. They just wanted to check there was nothing untoward like an air leak or a blood clot (there isn’t, it’s just pain).
Only now is my brain starting to process it all. I’m having flashbacks where my whole body tenses up and I hold my breath without realising and my nights are full of vivid dreams where I’m going to die.
But please don’t feel guilty.
I don’t bear any malice and I’m not angry. It happened; an unfortunate accident. Guilt does nothing to help and will only serve to make you feel bad. It could have been so much worse and I’m very lucky to have walked away as I did. I don’t know whether there’s any muscle/tendon/ligament damage yet, but that’s just something to deal with if so.
You would have been in shock too, and I’m hoping you are OK and have people looking after you, just like I do. I’ve been on the receiving end of so much kindness and love these past few days, and am so grateful to be reminded I have that in my life. We all do really, because people are inherently kind and good and want to help others.
Let’s learn something from this.
You’ll probably double or triple check for pedestrians and I’ll double or triple check for cars before crossing, while making sure I wear hi-vis for running in the dark all the time.