My 40th Year – July (month #3)

This month I went to the second session in the How to [really] connect series, ran by the gloriously lovely peeps at Unchatter.

This series has three connection experiences:

• How to be yourself
• How to make [real] friends
• How to be brave

As much as I might think I know a lot of this, and I’m used to getting out of my comfort zone a lot with this kind of stuff, it’s always good to reconnect and there’s always something to learn.

Basically it’s an evening spent doing a load of exercises with strangers that can (will) make you feel uncomfortable, vulnerable and exposed. Some of them I’ve done before, at other Unchatter events, but most have been new. The whole series is designed to give tips and tricks (based on science and research) on how to connect with people (and yourself) on a deeper level.

I’ve had to stare into a strangers eyes for a few minutes without speaking, tell a stranger out loud what my deepest fears are, talk about what I love about myself and [positively] gossip about someone to their face.

I’ve learnt how to practice self-compassion, ask for what I need and share my ‘human instruction manual’.

Some of it I find fairly easy, like talking to people I don’t know, because I’ve done it a lot. Same with talking about things that are quite personal; I’m pretty open – both in person and what I write on here.

But some things I found a bit harder. Saying my fears out loud (it was only then I realised what they actually are), or trying to come up with a list of things that I felt described me (it made me realise I can feel a little lost sometimes).

But, this my reason for doing it, right? To (re?)connect with myself, and get awkward and uncomfortable and vulnerable. All the best stuff comes when you do that.