I haven’t stopped crying since yesterday morning. Sleep brought a brief, sweet, respite, where I was gloriously unaware of reality. I wake, and it all hits me again. I wonder if I’m having some sort of mini-breakdown. Or maybe full-on breakdown. What actually classes as a breakdown? I don’t cry that often but here I … Continue reading Sunday
Author: Paps
I love running, writing, travel and adventure. I'll give anything a go once, and am always up for a laugh.
My 40th Year – August (month #4)
Last week I went to a half-day meditation retreat ran by Southern Insight Meditation. I'd been talking about meditation to a new friend who I met at the second Unchatter event (My 40th Year – July (month #3)), and she sent me the link as her neighbour is involved with the group. It couldn't have come … Continue reading My 40th Year – August (month #4)
My world
The doors flew open and I stood up as people ran past me, voices echoing off the bright white walls. “Emergency, coming through!” “Mind out the way please!” “Watch out!” I watched as they disappeared through another door, the sound travelling with them. Sinking down into the chair, I was engulfed by silence once more. … Continue reading My world
My 40th Year – July (month #3)
This month I went to the second session in the How to [really] connect series, ran by the gloriously lovely peeps at Unchatter. This series has three connection experiences: How to be yourselfHow to make [real] friendsHow to be brave As much as I might think I know a lot of this, and I'm used … Continue reading My 40th Year – July (month #3)
Dream notes
My friend Vic sent me a message the other day, briefly outlining an incredibly random dream of hers that I'd been in. Just a few sentences, none of it really making sense. I decided to try and create a short story out of it, and here's the result...comments and thoughts gratefully received, as always! ******************************** … Continue reading Dream notes
I want to feel
I want to feel. I want to experience. Not for when I'm older, or to look back on, just at the time. I want to feel. Love and hope, rejection and pain. Happy, and sad. Cold and hot, rain and scorching sun. Grateful. Weary and exhausted. Satisfied, and yearning. Disappointment and success. Scared and frightened, … Continue reading I want to feel
First kiss
He led the way, strong and sure of himself. She followed behind, watching the way his legs carried him through the undergrowth. His voice carried on the wind, his laugh echoing off the mountains as they walked. She liked it. She watched him, when he wasn’t looking. Studying his face, she took in the salt-and-pepper … Continue reading First kiss
Sam, Sussex, UK
'I'm turning forty at the end of July and I'm quite excited about that. And happy! I had a real wobble when I turned thirty.' Sam didn't like entering a new decade ten years ago. She says: 'There was a lot of pressure - perceived, not necessarily real - to have your ducks in a … Continue reading Sam, Sussex, UK
A nice cup of tea
Helen sat at the kitchen table, her stomach in knots. She looked down at her hands, the paleness of her fingers contrasting with the dark wood. Her fingertips rested on a groove, and her face tensed as she remembered how it got there. ‘What are you doing?’ He shouted, and she flinched as he raised … Continue reading A nice cup of tea