I got reminded of my kiwi-versary today, by the first friend I made when moving here. She must have noted it down at some point, because she congratulates me every year. It's not a date I have in my own calendar, or really plan on marking, but when I think about it, it's a pretty … Continue reading 4 years in Aotearoa New Zealand (and counting)
Category: My Life
Memories
I got round to watching a video tonight that Helen, my biking buddy, had sent me a while ago. It was a traveller's documentary about Patagonia, that, after about 9 minutes in, showed their experiences hitchhiking the Carretera Austral. Me and Helen biked this road back in early 2017, and I spent 20 minutes lost … Continue reading Memories
Talk it out
Over the last few weeks, after sharing how I've been feeling, I've had so many people get in touch. It's been wonderful, but a little overwhelming. Most messages had something in common: "if you want to talk, you know where I am", or "here if you need to talk". Ironically that's something I don't really … Continue reading Talk it out
Time to do shit
I've spent too long recently thinking about all the things I can't do, and it doesn't look like some of my circumstances might change anytime soon (residency-visa-COVID-blah), so I've decided it's now time to think about the things that I can. I've got to, I'll go mad otherwise. Although I have lots of ideas about … Continue reading Time to do shit
Post-meltdown musings
It's been a month since I had a bit of a meltdown. I wrote a post a week afterwards, but I never published it. At that time I was feeling vulnerable, emotional, and tired and so instead chose to retreat and look after myself by indulging in some TLC and time out. I'm sharing it … Continue reading Post-meltdown musings
Sunday
I haven’t stopped crying since yesterday morning. Sleep brought a brief, sweet, respite, where I was gloriously unaware of reality. I wake, and it all hits me again. I wonder if I’m having some sort of mini-breakdown. Or maybe full-on breakdown. What actually classes as a breakdown? I don’t cry that often but here I … Continue reading Sunday
I want to feel
I want to feel. I want to experience. Not for when I'm older, or to look back on, just at the time. I want to feel. Love and hope, rejection and pain. Happy, and sad. Cold and hot, rain and scorching sun. Grateful. Weary and exhausted. Satisfied, and yearning. Disappointment and success. Scared and frightened, … Continue reading I want to feel
AWOL
I've been a bit AWOL lately; writing's taken a bit of a back seat because I've had a lot on. It tends to be something that drops off when I'm busy, but it's also something that keeps me sane, so it's a double-edged sword. Work is taking a priority right now, because, you know, new … Continue reading AWOL
40 things I…
...have realised: 1. I don't need an 'identity'. I've had a few over the last ten years; runner, hiker, adventurer, traveller, writer. But actually, I'm just me. With or without those things. Previously, if I stopped doing any of that I'd have worried what that meant. Could I be me? Who was I? I do … Continue reading 40 things I…