It’s been a month since I had a bit of a meltdown. I wrote a post a week afterwards, but I never published it. At that time I was feeling vulnerable, emotional, and tired and so instead chose to retreat and look after myself by indulging in some TLC and time out. I’m sharing itContinue reading “Post-meltdown musings”
Category Archives: My Life
Sunday
I haven’t stopped crying since yesterday morning. Sleep brought a brief, sweet, respite, where I was gloriously unaware of reality. I wake, and it all hits me again. I wonder if I’m having some sort of mini-breakdown. Or maybe full-on breakdown. What actually classes as a breakdown? I don’t cry that often but here IContinue reading “Sunday”
I want to feel
I want to feel. I want to experience. Not for when I’m older, or to look back on, just at the time. I want to feel. Love and hope, rejection and pain. Happy, and sad. Cold and hot, rain and scorching sun. Grateful. Weary and exhausted. Satisfied, and yearning. Disappointment and success. Scared and frightened,Continue reading “I want to feel”
AWOL
I’ve been a bit AWOL lately; writing’s taken a bit of a back seat because I’ve had a lot on. It tends to be something that drops off when I’m busy, but it’s also something that keeps me sane, so it’s a double-edged sword. Work is taking a priority right now, because, you know, newContinue reading “AWOL”
40 things I…
…have realised: 1. I don’t need an ‘identity’. I’ve had a few over the last ten years; runner, hiker, adventurer, traveller, writer. But actually, I’m just me. With or without those things. Previously, if I stopped doing any of that I’d have worried what that meant. Could I be me? Who was I? I doContinue reading “40 things I…”
Forty (Me, in NZ)
My Dad pushed the roll of paper across the floor in the hallway, the brown sausage unravelling as it picked up speed before hitting the wall. “OK,” he said, looking across at me and my brother. “What are we writing on it?” “Happy 40th birthday Mum!” we shouted. “With a BIG four-zero!” Black marker pensContinue reading “Forty (Me, in NZ)”
Week one done
One week down in the new job. A pretty long week; the usual getting-set-up, reading-all-the-policies and trying-to-get-your-head-around-things as well as two days in Wellington meeting all the team from across the country. It’s been a good week though. A REALLY good week. Everything is so professional, my workmates are fab, and seem to work reallyContinue reading “Week one done”
Streams of consciousness
I feel a bit lost right now. It’s that time in between jobs where you’ve left one and not yet started the other – something I always try to do, as I find I need a decompress period, a time for mourning almost – and after weeks of to do lists, constant conversations, stress andContinue reading “Streams of consciousness”
Change is always unsettling
I’m dealing with a lot of stuff right now. I hadn’t realised this though, until two different people pointed it out to me. I guess that’s what happens sometimes, you just get so caught up in the middle of everything that you don’t always realise what you’re actually caught up with. You just battle through,Continue reading “Change is always unsettling”
The Paps Life 